


Old Habits

by kronette



Series: In Bed [1]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe, Back to Earth, M/M, Season/Series 10, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For most of his life, Rimmer had slept on his back. He'd learned it as self-defense very young to keep his brothers from sneaking up behind him and hooking his underwear over his ears...Rimmer had a practical, safe routine, which was shot to hell the day Lister kissed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Habits

**Author's Note:**

> An AU of life on board leading up to Series X. Oh yes, and the events of _Back to Earth_ didn't happen, though feel free to picture them in their BTE clothes. Set about 12 years before series X, to make the lads the right age.

For most of his life, Rimmer had slept on his back. He'd learned it as self-defense very young to keep his brothers from sneaking up behind him and hooking his underwear over his ears. It had proven vital in his school years, though when the other lads had gotten much bigger than him, they'd just lifted him bodily out of bed and hauled him to whatever tortures they'd devised.

Adulthood hadn’t changed his sleep habits. At least on board Red Dwarf, he hadn't needed to worry about waking up earlier than everyone else to avoid being the focus of their pranks. Lister never crawled out of bed before noon, and his mates even later.

Rimmer had a practical, safe routine, which was shot to hell the day Lister kissed him.

Rimmer had walked into their quarters to find Lister sitting on _his_ bunk, trimming his toenails. It was a disgusting display as Lister spat the gnawed bits onto the floor in front of Rimmer's bed.

It was the last straw. Weeks of bickering and icy glares in the cockpit finally converged into an explosion. "How many times have I told you _not_ to do that in my bunk!?" Rimmer raged.

Lister set his foot on the floor and glared up at him. "If I do it in my bunk, you yell at me that I've gotten toenails on _your_ bunk. Doing it down here keeps them off your sheets."

Rimmer placed his hands on his hips and blew out a breath in exasperation. "You are insufferable! I ask a simple thing of you, and you find every which way to circumvent me."

"Eh?"

He snorted at Lister's confused look. He leaned down, shoving his nose in Lister's face. "You are the dumbest, most disgusting imitation human being I've ever met." Lister stood up, forcing Rimmer to straighten to meet his furious gaze.

Lister huffed and declared, "And you, Arnold Rimmer, are the most arrogant, self-centered smeghead in all the known universes!"

Indignant anger flooded Rimmer, overriding any sense he had left after years of dealing with Lister. "That is an absolute lie," he snarled. He added with full-on snarky sarcasm, " _One_ universe has the supreme commander of arrogance, Ace Rimmer, flitting about!"

Lister stood on the balls of his feet, poking a finger into Rimmer's chest. "Yeah, because he's the _one_ version of you that gives a smeg about the rest of us!" he shouted, his chest rising and falling with his rapid breathing.

Rimmer spluttered and faltered at the accusation, his fury near the breaking point. "How dare you!" he yelled, his emotions a jumbled mess. "I care so much it _hurts_. You're just too dumb to see it!"

Lister's nostrils flared and his gaze could have incinerated a star. "I dare you to say that again."

Rimmer felt heat pooling low in his gut as his heart raced out of control. He leaned down, glaring into those warm eyes and spat out, "You. Are. Too. Dumb. To. See. It."

Instead of the expected fist landing on his jaw, Rimmer's head was grabbed in two hands and his mouth was assaulted by Lister's. He gave as good as he got, so turned on it was painful. They licked and sucked and bit everywhere they could reach, removing items of clothing to expose more skin.

They fell to Rimmer's bunk, bumping elbows and knees and other interesting parts. As Rimmer's hand stroked down Lister's side, he murmured against Lister's lips, "You taste minty. Why don't you taste like your feet?"

Lister broke the kiss to give him a cheeky grin. "I wasn't biting my toenails. Was just tired of waiting for you to make the first move. I had to do something to break the tension."

"I'll show you _tension_ , m'laddo," Rimmer growled and set to work licking every trace of mint from Lister's mouth.

=-=-=-=

The next morning wasn’t as awkward as it could have been, mainly because Lister snored on, oblivious to Rimmer's predicament. He had no experience with waking up beside someone else, as he'd never been invited to stay after the sexual act was completed. Waking up with his head pillowed on Lister's shoulder was made more awkward by their limbs tangled with each other and the sheets. Embarrassment heated Rimmer's face as he extracted first his arms, then a leg, in order to sit up. He spied their clothes strewn about the room and sighed heavily. Trust Lister to wait until he'd started wearing real clothes to seduce him. It was probably his plan all along.

He wiped at his face and scrubbed a hand through his hair, hating the feel of loose curls. Only Lister could spend three whole minutes in the middle of sex to completely undo his gelled hair into a flyaway mess and be _gleeful_ about it. He glared at his bedmate, only to feel his mouth curve in a gentle smile at the sight of Lister sucking his thumb. It should be disgraceful; a grown man of well over 30 sucking his thumb, but now it seemed adorable. Heat burned his face as he remembered things Lister had shown him that his body was capable of the night before – definitely nothing adorable about that. Incredibly hot and sexy and more than a little bit mind-blowing? Smeg yes.

He peered bleary-eyed toward the clock, seeing it was just past seven in the morning. Feeling incredibly lazy, he curled onto his side and flung an arm over Lister's chest, dropping back to sleep almost instantly.

=-=-=-=

Their first few weeks together, they exhausted themselves with sex because they could, then fell asleep wherever they happened to collapse. When that initial rush of _touch all the time can't get enough_ settled down, Rimmer found himself unable to sleep in the cramped bunk. Lister had always slept on his side, so fitting two people into the narrow bunk should have been easy…except Rimmer was incapable of adjusting a lifetime of protection. Even when he was able to lie on his back, Lister suffocated him with a head on his chest and limbs curled around his body like an octopus.

Thus began the arguments on where they would sleep. Lister was adamant that they remain in their quarters, as it was home. Rimmer was just as adamant that they needed a bigger bed so that he could sleep properly.

The problem was solved when they got to experimenting with sexual positions. Hand and blow jobs were enough for Rimmer, but Lister pushed for more. His persuasion tactics were quite scary and quite thorough, leaving a babbling, incoherent Rimmer agreeing to _anything_ as long as Lister allowed him to finally, _finally_ come.

Two nights later, a shaking, utterly spent Rimmer struggled to breathe as he collapsed onto Lister's back. His brain could not form a thought, let alone a word, but he was overwhelmed with the urge to protect the man he was still connected to. Shifting gently to not hurt Lister any more than he might have, he froze at Lister's soft moan, then frowned at his soft chuckle.

"Don't want you to move," a very satisfied-sounding Lister slurred into the mattress. "Didn't expect that."

Rimmer's brain came back online and he found his voice. "I didn’t hurt you, did I?" he asked quietly. Without waiting for an answer, he shifted and rolled them onto their sides, slipping an arm around Lister to support him. He felt the rapid rise and fall of Lister's chest beneath his hand and his fingers mindlessly stroked along the sweat-slick flesh, offering comfort.

"Nah, it's fine," Lister dismissed breathlessly and covered Rimmer's hand with his own. "This's nice."

Contentment seeped into every pore, much stronger than after any of their previous rounds of exhaustive sex. Rimmer closed his eyes and nuzzled Lister's curls, seeking a bit of flesh to nip and kiss. His mouth latched onto the side of Lister's neck, then worked its way up to an ear and nibbled at the lobe. He should have felt vulnerable with his naked back exposed to their room. He should have felt embarrassment at wanting to fall asleep curled around an equally naked Lister, but none of his usual emotions were present. Rather, emotions he'd thought long dead or dormant for years were clawing their way to the surface, unnerving him.

"Easy, guy," Lister murmured and squeezed Rimmer's hand, halfway twisting around to look at him.

Realizing he was nearly crushing Lister to his chest, he loosened his grip and bent his neck to meet Lister's mouth, offering an apologetic kiss. "I – I think I just might –" he faltered, knowing what he needed to say but still fearful of a lifetime of rejection. Then, despite his oddly twisted upper body, Lister smiled at him, a gentle curve of his lips that made everything else unimportant. "I love you, Listy," Rimmer breathed out.

Lister's encouraging smile transformed into a wicked grin. "So, alls it took was letting you bugger me to get you to admit it. Duly noted." As Rimmer's mouth opened and closed, looking for a suitable retort, Lister kissed him again. "And I love you too, smeghead."

Without another word, Lister twisted back around, using Rimmer's arm as a pillow. Rimmer heard the beginnings of Lister's snores and went to pinch him in retaliation, but his new in-love, sappy self deemed the sounds endearing. He sneered at his new self, who flipped him the two-fingered salute and made himself comfortable plastered to Lister's back. Rimmer managed to pull up the sheet to cover their nakedness, then drifted to sleep with the mingled scents of sex and Lister filling his senses.


End file.
